Frivolity

lickypickystickyfree:

A few:

•  If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
• Always toast before doing a shot.
•  Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
• Change your toast at least once a month.
•  Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
•  Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
•  Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
• If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He’ll get the message.
• Always have a corkscrew in your house.
•  If you don’t have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
•  It’s okay to drink alone.
•  If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
• Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.
•  If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.
• If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.
• Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.
• Rules are made to be broken.
• Bottoms up!

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